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The UN-Official JH Forum Posting Checklist By A JH Visitor

The forum at JH can be a rough and tumble place to exchange ideas. The following is a humorous "poke" at the Forum of Justhelicopters.com. It was submitted by a JH Visitor.

Just Helicopters.com Forum Posting Checklist

I am posting for the purpose of:

Asking the URL of:
< > The FAA
< > AEL
< > CJ
< > Anyone who's hiring
< > Another of the 850+ entries on Lynn's site

Unions:
< > ______ employee's are getting screwed! We need a Union!
< > You're a Union pimp!
< > You're a buster!
< > Am not!
< > Are too!

Pilot's Only:
< > My mechanic sucks
< > My mechanic smells bad
< > My mechanic is trying to kill me

Mechanics only:
< > Pilot's are all a$$holes!
< > My pilot can't read
< > My pilot won't help wash the helicopter
< > I'm trying to kill my pilot

EMS Crews only:
< > Our FN/Medics are hot
< > Our FN/Medics are ugly
< > My med crew thinks they can fly better than me
< > My med crew is trying to get me fired

I'm a newbie!:
< > Which flight school is the best?
< > R-22 or 300C?
< > Why is this so expensive?
< > Should I join the Army?
< > You old farts are mean, you all suck!

Army Pilots Only: I'm getting ready to ETS, who's hiring?
The: < > AH-64 < > AH-1
< > UH-60 < > UH-1
< > CH-47 < > Other: _______
< > Is the best helicopter ever
< > Is not!
< > Is too!
< > Civilian Pilots suck

Civilian Pilots only:
< > How much does ______ pay?
< > Where can I find a POH/RFM/Checklist for a ______
< > Army pilots suck

NVG's:
< > Which programs use NVG's?
< > When is the FAA going to get with the program?!
< > NVG's suck!
< > Do not!
< > Do too!

Helmets:
< > Which helmet should I buy?
< > Helmets suck
< > Complaining about a helmet
< > Responding to a complaint about a helmet
< > Responding to a response to a complaint about a helmet


< > Rehashing a topic that was beaten to death last week
< > Rehashing a topic that was beaten to death a month ago
< > Rehashing a topic that was beaten to death two months ago
< > Dispensing non-helicopter, non-aviation information
< > Demonstrating a lack of knowledge of punctuation or grammar (also
known as showing I am a super-deaf!!!!!!!,
cold-chillin'!!!!!, super-slamming!!!!! bad-@ss m****
f*****!!!!!?????!!!!!!)
< > PROVING MY "CAPS LOCK" KEY IS STUCK, AND MY "!" KEY REPEATS!!!!!!!
< > Inciting as many other posters as possible to send a "me too" message
< > Bragging
< > Inviting a new bout of flaming
< > Trolling
< > Polling for useless information
< > Providing useless information in reponse to a poll
< > Selling overpriced used junk
< > Advertising for, or asking for a job instead of using the appropriate Employment/Resumes section
< > Demonstrating that I just got web capability, and boy is it cool!
< > Sending a joke that's been around forever
< > Complaining about someone else's waste of bandwidth or lack of helicopter content while contributing nothing myself

The subject is:

< > Covered in a FAQ
< > Inappropriately identified on the subject line
< > Not related to the body of the message
Helicopter related
< > What's a subject?
< > Already a well exhausted topic
< > Virus (hoax)
< > Virus (probably hoax)
< > Some other Urban Legend
< > Non-aviation joke
< > How much should I be getting paid?
< > Unions suck

I am (check all that apply):

< > Athiest
< > Democrat
< > Libertarian
< > Republican
< > not registered to vote
< > Pro-Union
< > Anti-Union
< > a sixth grade graduate
< > contemplating learning how to spell
< > paying too much for insurance
< > unconcerned that the US government spends more in an hour than I will make in my lifetime
< > Other ______________

I got busted for:

< > buzzing my ex's house
< > photographing Streisand's Malibu mansion
< > having a "few too many" last night
< > I am posting from a jail cell
< > flying a Robinson

My favorite nickname for a Robinson is:

< > Robbie < > Flying Deathtrap
< > Weedwacker < > Other _________

I would like to take your time to flame:

< > Robinson < > Bell < > Eurocopter
< > Slick Willie Clinton < > GWB < > Lynn
< > Spud < > Klank < > Unions
< > CJ < > Other _____________

(Insert standard flame here. Non-standard flames are not acceptable.
See previous forum posts for examples of standard flames.)

My favorite song to which to, uh, ahem, ummm, fly is:

< > Anything by Vanilla Ice
< > Anything but Vanilla Ice
< > Elevator music
< > By an artist that is so cool I am sure you have not heard of him/her
< > I Touch Myself, by the DiVinyls

AEL:
< > Sucks
< > Does not
< > Does too
< > Does not

CJ:
< > Sucks
< > Does not
< > Does too
< > Does not

(insert company here):
< > Sucks
< > Does not
< > Does too
< > Does not

I am including:
< > Quoted text not marked with anything to designate such text
< > The entire post to which I am replying, including non-relevant content

Me too!!!!:
< > I love Boy George too!
< > I think CJ sucks too!
< > I hate AEL, too!
< > I want to say Eurocrapper, too!
< > I don't want to add useful information or discussion to this forum either!

About This Checklist (must choose one):
< > This checklist doesn't apply to me (and I am including it in its entirety to prove it)
< > This checklist offends me (but doesn't apply to me)
< > I am touching myself while I surf the net for nudie pictures and found this form by mistake

Signature:
< > Much bigger than my actual post
< > An audio file
< > Racist, sexist, commercial or offensive to certain religions
< > The bill of materials required to build an entire B206 from scratch
_________________________________________________________

Guidelines for posting:
o Please discontinue the posting of original content.
o Only submit via this form.
o Please include this checklist in its entirety. Do not delete non-relevant portions.

Posted in: Humor & Poetry

Comments

Varianten Poker
Tuesday, July 20, 2010 11:40 PM
Ask yourself this, how would government loans for pilot training benefit the taxpayers? After all, that's the name of the game, right? Pilots aren't exactly a scarce commodity, so there is no motivation for taxpayers to help train new ones. There are already plenty of experienced pilots looking for work, and there are plenty of students willing to self-finance their training. If you want to talk about educational programs that deserve government subsidies, health care would be a better choice.

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