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Helicopter pilots are just better than fixed wing pilots by John Jones

This has been a serious debate for quite some time with battle lines well drawn and the debate field hot, furious, and emotional. Obviously, the heat of the debate and the surety of the participants are directly proportional to the amount of liquid intelligence that has been consumed. Nevertheless, this humble observer will present the evidence that clearly proves helicopter pilots are, as a matter of fact, the most superior pilots in the aviation community.

First, let’s talk about the numbers.
Airplanes have a lot of numbers, V1, V2, VTOSS, MMO, the figures many helicopter operations emulate. However, while helicopter pilots try to operate “by the numbers”, the operating environment often precludes such a luxury. The 757 pilot is, “going to come over the fence at Vref+15k” or some other such number like that. Meanwhile, the helicopter lands on a rig, perhaps with a 30K head wind, a 15K crosswind, or maybe he has to land in a remote area with no wind… and he will LAND AT 0K GROUNDSPEED! If you know anything about aerodynamics, I shouldn’t have to say anything else – the safety of the numbers does not always grace the helicopter pilot therefore, they need special skill to compensate when the numbers are not even applicable. The rotorhead may be landing at 40K IAS or 0K… airplane safety margins are all off!

Not convinced, let’s talk operating environment.
It would be nice to be able to land on a flat piece of paved real estate that was 200’ wide and 8000’ long, for every landing; but for helicopter pilots, that’s the exception rather than the rule (We are even told to “avoid the flow” of the starch wingers lest we upset their “numbers.”). Helicopter pilots are called to land on small offshore platforms, smaller shipboard platforms (that can be bobbing and weaving like Mike Tyson), rooftops, forests, jungles, and next to highways at night to pick up the injured. This is a VFR operation that would make most airplane pilots cringe. This goes beyond those fixed wingers who call themselves “bush pilots.” Helicopter pilots are the true Bush Pilots – they land and takeoff in the midst of the bushes!

To this, the helicopter pilot adds all the stuff the corporate or 121 operator does. They operate in dense airspace, fly instrument approaches, operate at busy airports, and fly in severe weather – often without the help of a four-axis autopilot with “autotrim.” (In fact, the only autopilot may be control friction… and any objective dual-rated pilots will confess the helicopter is quite a bit more difficult to fly on the gauges!)

At this point I have to interject for the prima Donna part 91 operators in their Citation X’s, Gulfstreams, and Falcon 50’s. Yes Veronica, there are a lot of helicopters with color radar, multiple MFDs, EFIS, digital fuel controls, 4 axis autopilots, and all the other goodies, so don’t go there! We can operate your fancy equipment as well!

I’m not done – what about workload?
The helicopter pilot is normally the “company man” on the job. Therefore, they must not only be able to fly the aircraft, they have to be the local PR man with the customer, often solving the customer’s problems so the aircraft is used the most efficiently. The helicopter pilot might have to arrange for his own fuel and even refuel his own aircraft. He checks the landing sites, trains people how to work around helicopters without getting injured, and makes sure the aircraft does not disturb Grandma Bessie’s chickens!

But wait, like the Ginsu knife, “there’s more!”
The rotor head does it all. He does all the pre-flight planning, submits the flight plan, prepares all the paperwork including the weight and balance, loads and briefs the passengers, loads cargo, and after landing takes care of the unloading and finally arranges for their own transportation and room. This is often interspersed by telephone calls to some company weenie that changes plans and expectations every hour.

Finally, the all important question, “What about control touch?”
I want to shut up all the hotshot fighter pilots. I’ve been in their aircraft and they have been in mine… I could fly theirs but they were all over the sky in mine! So then, Mr., Starch Winger; when you see a Hughes 500 or Bell 204 pilot hold one skid on a 5000’ knife edge ridge that is only 2 feet wide so passengers can step out onto the ridge, while the other skid is suspended in space… when you watch a Skycrane, Vertol, S61, 212, or 214B pilot place a hook, that’s on a cable 200’ below the aircraft, in the hand of a ground crewman… when you see a Lama, AStar, or Bell 206L land in a space in the trees that’s scarcely bigger than the helicopter… and if you ever watch a BK 117, 105, or A109 pilot land in a vacant lot next to a busy freeway surrounded by power lines – at night… Well then, you’ll have some idea who is the master manipulator of aviation equipment.

The bottom line is; if all you want is to get into the air, find a Cessna, Beech, F-16, or 757. However, if you want to truly fly, to be an artisan in aviation and develop a bird-like control touch; then, you want to be a helicopter pilot. After all, a rock would probably fly if you made it go 180K.

The real question for our fixed wing brethren should be, “How fast can you fly backward?”


 

Posted in: Opinion-Editorial

Comments

De Vo
# De Vo
Wednesday, February 10, 2010 6:42 AM
I LOVE IT!!! ha ha ha ha haaaaaa :D
Charlie Hover
# Charlie Hover
Wednesday, February 10, 2010 8:06 AM
Spoken like a true "been there, done that" aviator, and you didn't even touch on "autorotations"! Great article!
Chuck W
# Chuck W
Wednesday, February 10, 2010 12:01 PM
Ah to fly is heavenly, but to hover divine...I fly both fixed and sling wings and have to admit that Igor was right with the thought the helicopter rules the skies. Of course there are those out there that couldn't keep the two breeds of aircraft apart and much like a scene from Romeo and Juliet, something would come from such atttempts. So somewhere in a darkened hangar came the Powered-Lift pilot and he can do it all...now another type of aircraft I would just likie to fly once.
JR Barbe
# JR Barbe
Wednesday, February 10, 2010 8:39 PM
Hey, JHADMIN

I couldn't have put it any clearer than you did. I have read and heard to many times the bicker backer on this very topic. We'll done!! Even to this day I still love flying planes, but your absolutly right if you truely want to fly nothing even comes close to the heli. I have far more respect for heli pilot's than fixed wing, not because I think fixed wingers are'nt good pilot's, but take away their trim tabs and let them go to work and I'll bet they'll be singin a different tune at the end of the day! Every fixed wing pilot thats flown with me at the controles Freaken looses it when I take them backwards. Even take them up an dilliberatly get us into settling with power and say things like "O crap this dosent look good". There is just so many resons why heli's are better except for speed/dist. but you cant beat the overall safty of landing and walking away from when our engine quits than theirs.

Have fun-Fly safe You to fixed wing guy's/Gal's
JR Barbe
# JR Barbe
Wednesday, February 10, 2010 8:42 PM
Hey, JHADMIN

I couldn't have put it any clearer than you did. I have read and heard to many times the bicker backer on this very topic. We'll done!! Even to this day I still love flying planes, but your absolutly right if you truely want to fly nothing even comes close to the heli. I have far more respect for heli pilot's than fixed wing, not because I think fixed wingers are'nt good pilot's, but take away their trim tabs and let them go to work and I'll bet they'll be singin a different tune at the end of the day! Every fixed wing pilot thats flown with me at the controles Freaken looses it when I take them backwards. Even take them up an dilliberatly get us into settling with power and say things like "O crap this dosent look good". There is just so many resons why heli's are better except for speed/dist. but you cant beat the overall safty of landing and walking away from when our engine quits than theirs.

Have fun-Fly safe You to fixed wing guy's/Gal's

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